Selina was getting back into the dating world after a long 8 years. She had broken up with her ex-boyfriend after dating for six years, which was followed by the pandemic, so she had healed from her breakup by this point and wanted to dive back into dating. But, this time she wanted to date consciously; she wanted to be in a relationship where she could evolve as a human rather than being molded to what her partner desires (a mistake that she did in her last relationship e and tbh many of us do).
Selina knew that her dating skills needed to be updated as after hearing from her friends about the changes in the dynamics and labels of relationships existing around her, she was feeling as if she had been living under a rock for a long time.
These new dating trends wouldn’t seem to be new to many as some of them have existed since time immemorial in the dating bible, but these are still being considered new in today’s time because their implementation has now become pertinent to achieving a healthy dating life.
What do we mean by this? To understand these new dating tips, we would have to first see what are these dating trends that are rocking the world of superficial dating styles.
Gone are the days when being single was considered taboo or a defect in you. People have realized the importance of enjoying their own company before depending on someone else. Once a person shows that they are happy even after being single, it reflects that they are confident as a person and do not depend on others for their happiness. Therefore, rule #1 of today’s dating world is to be content with oneself, to enjoy one ‘s own company rather than validating your existence or happiness through someone else's energy.
TIP- If you want to see whether you are happy with your own company or not, start going to places alone. Be it for lunches, movies, or picnics, and see how you really feel when you are all by yourself. If by the end of the day, you feel that you have learned something new about yourself, then consider this as a proud moment as you have just explored yourself through your own eyes and not others.
Remember the times when you would meet your date in a nice bar, and start your conversations with a glass of wine or beer pitchers and end up having a blurred memory of the night in your bed or theirs?- well thankfully, that phase has gone away for the good. #Rule 2 is that today, especially after the pandemic, people have become conscious about mixing alcohol on their dates; it is being observed that people are preferring to have real-time conversations over a cup of coffee followed by walks in the park rather than sit in a bar and drink away till either of you passes out. The pandemic has brought a shift amongst people as everyone has realized that life can be unpredictable at any given moment, therefore, it is being seen that people are now more inclined to spend time with others in a way that they shall remember as a whole and not as a drunken blurred memory or in bits and pieces.
TIP- If you are meeting someone for the first time, keep it like old times- meeting in a coffee shop where you two can actually talk and get to know each other. This would not only help you in getting to know them better but will also help you to decide whether you want to go on a second date- something which is hard to decide or recall if you have been sipping LIITs for hours.
We all have seen how things get ugly when the covid numbers surge. With no end to the pandemic around the corner and the virus updating itself to new variants, it is quite pertinent that you are cautious about your safety when you are meeting a stranger. Therefore #rule 3 is to check if the person has taken up their vaccinations or not. Regardless of how smart they are or if they look like Johnny Depp or Gal Gadot, if they have not got themselves vaccinated then it just shows that either they are silly or just careless. (This point is for people who believe in Covid safety measures such as vaccinations, social distancing, and wearing a mask, those who don’t, well ummm.. you should).
TIP- If you are someone who has taken all their shots or even just one, then, you must ask your date about their vaccination status. Many dating apps have now the option of verifying the vaccination status of a person, therefore, be careful on this one as it’s no fun to fall sick and make others sick around you just for the sake of going on a date.
#Rule 4 is about safety, be it about health or privacy. The fact that being safe while going on dates has always been a crucial rule, but in contemporary times, it is needed more than ever before. The increasing number of criminal cases such as murders, rapes, blackmailing, cyberstalking, and thefts are quite alarming and therefore, it gets more important to be certain about the person you are going to meet on a date. Yes, we understand that sometimes hormones can make you drool over the person and you would want to take things ahead instantly, but it is always wise to think from the head than your hormones when you are meeting someone for the first time.
TIP- Virtual dates are the new normal and truthfully speaking they are a blessing. Before actually meeting a stranger on a date, one can always have a virtual date to know what the person looks like (saves you from being catfished) and if things are really as they appear. On the other hand, meeting in a public space, not leaving your drink or personal belongings unattended, and at least letting someone know where you’ll be exactly going for the date, are some ways where you can safeguard yourself from any unpleasant situations.
8Remember the old times when you would discuss with your friends the bases you have been in a relationship? The first base- holding hands, the second base- making out, the third base- is foreplay, and the fourth base- having sex. Well, somehow it has been seen that in the past few years people have forgotten about the first three bases and they straightforwardly start their relationships with the fourth base. Although there is no harm in it, many relationship experts believe that many times having sex too early in the relationship can make the life of the relationship relatively short. Therefore, it has been time and again advised that before getting intimate with each other, it is always wise to know each other layer by layer; this way you get to know the person well and enhance the chemistry between each other.
TIP- Tell the person straightforwardly, that you believe in taking things slow and stick by this rule. This rule will help you in knowing their intentions and wants. If someone is on the similar page as you are i.e., building the relationship brick by brick then they would be staying around and if not then be ready to ghost (unfortunately this is still happening but the bright side is that you will save yourself a lot of time and energy and most importantly from a heartbreak).
Now we know what you must be thinking, what's so new about these dating trends and was Selina really living under the rock that she didn't know about these dating rules? Well, the answer to this is simple- these dating rules (except the vaccination one) have been around us for a long time, but unfortunately, we have time and again failed to abide by them. If you have seen shows like the Tinder Swindler or Dating around, you would know that dating in today's time is challenging which is why the above mentioned dating trends are now being adopted by many (something new to many people's dating styles) so that they can be in a meaningful relationship that adds value to their life as a whole, and not just have an Instagram-able relationship.